I wonder, when people look at me, do they think: 'poor girl, she's so stupid, let's take advantage on her innocence'? What is it, what every single fucking person wants me to do what they want??? Like these 'modern' parents of some of my students, that pretend me not to teach to anybody else but their perfect, well behaved children, and who, on top of that, advice ME on what to teach to their perfect, well behaved children.
Sometimes I think it's because of my age, though I'm not a child. I'm sure that my biggest problem is my always too much positive and permissive attitude towards parents: 'Don't worry, you can pay me later, like in two or ten months'. 'Don't worry if you bring your child an hour later. I have nothing to do anyway, but waiting.' WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH ME? No wonder they do whatever the hell they want!
I need to learn for good that I have to give myself the price I deserve I have, and make the others respect it. I am the teacher, I am in charge, right? Yeah, like I'm gonna believe that.
So in the end, my options are: I let people do whatever thay want till I get tired and beat the shit out of them, or I better start placing limits from day one. Easy to say, not so easy to do. It's a process that takes time. Or, if we want to make it simpler, please, if you see me in this corky attitude, would you be so kind to choke me? Not to dead, but maybe, when I am consious again , I might understand what I have to do.
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