Today at our language class, we had a very interesting discussion on boys: their behaviour, attitide, and some of the hidden reasons of why they do what they do.
Mr Lizarraga and Tadeo (the only two men in the class), said that as a boy, you are not aloud, or supossed, at least, to show your emotions; whether crying, or expressing affection to someone, are seen as weak points in most boys. Who does that is 'not a real man'. So you see how boys share this 'boy code'.
While we were talking, I suddenly remembered Matias. He was a classmate from primary school. He was quite rude, and was the 'macho' of the class. During the seven years I shared the classrrom with him, I never ever saw him acting as nothing but a 'real man' (whatever that means):
However, one day he showed his other self, and it was quite shocking: our English teacher was giving back some important test we had had. Matias was a bad student (studying was not something that boys should do...), and he needed a high grade. Apparentely, he did do his best at this exam, and when he saw that he had failed, Matias lost it: he started crying so hard, he was screaming, actually. His male classmates tried to make him calm, but he wouldn't listen. The boy kept repeating that he deserved a better grade. The worst thing is that our teacher would only say: 'Matias, come on. Boys don't cry!'
So she never said that she was sorry, or that she would explain to him why had she decided to give him that mark, or whatever. Just something that would make him stop crying, but she didn't.
After today's class, I realized what a message do we, as a society, give to our boys and girls: boys can't cry or show weakness. It is assumed that they will missbehave and be the clowns of thatever place and situation. Girls should know this to be 'prepared', and the sooner the better they realize that they are more intelligent than them... So you see how wrong we are, 'cause at the same time, we would like boys and girls to be able to share more in a healthy environment.
So that day was special, but not in a good sense.We (the students) just looked, astonished. This taugh boy that would always tease everybody, was now there, in front of us, like a harmless creature asking for someone to understand him. No one did or said anything, but from that day, Matias was not the same: we was vulnerable now, and everybody took advantage on that (I did too). I hope we had been able to see that signal he was sending: it was totally allright for him to cry. But we didn't, and from that day onwards, Matias was not the same.So I think that's a lesson we should all learn and apply, especially as future teachers. Being a boy is not easy.
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