Here I am. Finally the last year has come. Hopefully, in a couple of months I´ll be able to teach, but wii I really be able to teach?
During the last months many things have gone through my mind. I´m at a point where I constantly ask myself questions for which I don´t have the answers, like for example if I chose the right carreer, if my future students will learn something from me, if what I have learnt so far still remains in me, and so on...
Maybe what I feel is a mixture of fears. In the first place my biggest fear is not to be good enough at teaching. In the second place it also worries me not to find a job, and of course, then is the issue of the cruel competence at work!
I don´t know if experimenting this awful sensation is common, but I hate it. I doubt of each thing that I do and it gets worse in the classroom.
The strangest thing that has happened to me lately is that in class I have the strong sensation that I´m dreaming. Now I don´t know if this is so because of tiredness or because I´m all the time focused on what´s coming up soon. Every time I hear the words professionals, degree, or future I feel fear. I had tried to talk about this with my friends, but they are more exited than me about the end of this year. I know, and appreciate their intentions, but I guess I´m waiting for someone to tell me what I don´t dare to say, using the words that I don´t dare to use.
Whatever is the case, I hope it goes away qhickly. If there´s something I´m sure of in this life is my love for teaching.
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Hi Barbis!...it`s a pleasure reading your entries. What can I say about this entry?...Well,I don`t know if I may have the right answer,but I do know that if you love your career then it`s possible to be a great teacher. You are a great person and I`m pretty sure you will be an excellent teacher. There`s not doubt about it.Perhaps it`s common to be afraid of what`s coming but don`t let it ruin your last year...enjoy it!:-)
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