Little brother:

I`ve been thinking a lot about you these days. Lots of memories come to me full of images of both of us. Do you remember those times? We used to play instead of taking a nap. I would tell you silly jokes and you would laugh with heart and soul. Those were magical times, in which I was your heroine, your friend, your partner of adventures. We were inseparable, remember? But then we grew up, and everything got cold and distant. We went through some difficult situations at different levels. I know that the death of our loved aunt stroke and affected you in a way that changed you completely. We were supossed to be together, but we failed at that so much! I know that I should have been there to protect you and tell you that everything would be all right, but instead, I was only worried about mom. I devoted all my time and energy in trying to pull her out of that hole in which she had fallen, and I forgot about you. On top of that, you weren`t helpful either: your actions dissapointed us and we felt that you abbandoned us just when we needed you the most. Inside me, a strong feeling of remorse against you made me change my attitude towards you.
Suddenly, time flew, and all the time I thought I would have to make things better was gone. You are a 22 year-old man, who have changed for good in many aspects but in others not. I wish you were closer to me and mom. We need of your support, and I personaly need of you as my brother. I know for a fact that we`ll never be best friends, and that`s ok with me, but if we could change, if we were just a little bit more flexible with each other...
Yesterday, when I was at home alone, I was thinking of you when the idea that you might hate me made me cry with actual pain in my heart. I know that one of the things that you dislike the most about me is how serious and annoying I can be regarding the housework and other issues. I`m sorry I`m such a pain in the ass, but I can`t help it. You and I see everything with different eyes.
Many times I see you and I have the need to hug you and tell you how much you mean to me, but I`m lack of courage, and I simply stay there.
I really wish things were different between us. If only you knew how much I need you. I wonder, is there still any hope for us? Only God knows.


I wrote these lines perfectly knowing that my brother won`t read them, but I did it anyway `cause I wanted to share all this that I feel with someone.