Lonely days:

Lonely days visit me from time to time. They show up unexpectedly and stay. They just stay. It may seem difficult to believe but lonely days are not a problem to me.
During those days I try to connect with myself. I listen to some good music and I think. In lonely days I think a lot. Think of things I didn´t have the courage to do; words I didn’t dare to pronounce; people I didn´t want to talk to...
Lonely days make me realize of the good things I had been able to achieve recently. This is a unique time when I like me and when I convince myself that a radical change in life is still possible. I get so freaking positive in lonely days that it frightens me! And I also try to take advantage of them because I know that in any minute they´ll go away, taking with them the good things that I’m normally lack of. When my lonely days are gone, shadows come back. Everything gets so dark and thinking turns into something so heavy, that I loose all hope again. Once these beautiful lonely days abandon me I go backwards in time, trying to pick up the pieces of a puzzle too large to complete. It´s funny that I remember the exact words that went through my mind the day before: words that promised so much and that now are nothing else but empty boxes within my brain; dreams that looked so meaningful and which now are nonsensical nightmares that won´t let me wake up.
I need my lonely days back. I´m looking forward to have them with me again. Maybe this time it´ll be different, who knows? Maybe this time they´ll stay forever.